The thread for former christians

[Henrik]

Hello everyone!
This thread is for young people who have left the christianity or any other religion.

This fall, i left the christian religion for good. I had doubted it for about two years, and then I realized that i couldn't consider myself a christian any more. Now I am an agnostic/atheist. Both my parents are christians, and my dad is pastor in a church. I have gone to private christian schools for 10 years, and now I'm in my first year at a christian H.S. I created this thread to find other people in this situation, so that we can talk about the difficulties. I have a really good relationship with my parents, and they don't know about my "liberation" from the faith. I just can't tell them

The first person i told about it was my Christianity teacher. He had detected that i didn't pay attention in the christianity lessons. I told him that i had developed relativistic view. Troughout the meeting I could almost feel it on my body that he wanted to convert me. This is a quote: "Then the question is how it withstands the eternity"

I feel that a part of the christian teachings remain deep inside my mind, even though I know for sure that I'm not a christian. .
If someone is going to convert me now, they'll have to give me the bible and a huge box of beer.

If you are in a similar situation and/or would like to give me some advice, go ahead and post!

[Didymos Thomas]

My father was not a pastor, but I was in a similar situation at your age (early in high school). Had trouble telling my parents that I was an atheist. When I did tell them, they already suspected my loss of faith.
My advice is to explain to them that you have doubts about the faith and that you no longer feel comfortable considering yourself a Christian: explain that the morals you have learned are not being abandoned - as you say, a part of those Christian teachings still influence you.
Most people doubt their faith. It's not so strange, and I imagine your family will understand.

[Maestro]

I am from an Evangelical, Super-Conservative, Right-Wing Christian household. I know the Bible backwards and forwards. It was impounded into me as a child and early teen. I dropped Christianity two and a half years ago, during the fall/winter of my 10th grade year.

[Joe]

Sounds like your making some pretty big steps in your life. I suggest Letting the people you love know. Trust me, there isn't a single reason that really means hiding something that you feel strongly about from people close too you. Ummm.... If you still don't want, then font, but also don't let it bother you to any extensive point. When it starts too, you'll know.

peace

[paulhanke]

Originally Posted by Henrik

I just can't tell them

... my advice - figure out a way to tell them, set a date, and do it ... hiding such a thing only leads to estrangement - let me tell you that it sucks being in your mid-40's never having had the guts to tell your parents and thinking to yourself that at this time in their lives it's probably best just to let them live out their remaining years thinking what they think ... wholly unintentionally, a wedge has accumulated over the years due to things unspoken and experiences unshared and I don't think we really know each other anymore ... and that's just sad ...

[Holiday20310401]

Just read some good old Basho.
Temple bells die out.
The fragrant blossoms remain.
A perfect evening.

That's how you tell em.

[Justin]

Off-topic posts have been removed. Please stick to the topic discussion.

Henrik, best of luck to you in this. I was also raised Christian and ended up leaving because I could see the falsity within the religion. When my family realized my step away from the faith I became a person headed in the wrong direction. All that I was taught in the faith had all the sudden been forgotten by those who were preaching it. Hypocrisy at it's finest.

Having a good relationship with your parents is a great step and your journey is a personal one and they should not reject it so you should talk to them about it and open up. Don't be surprised if they cannot accept it though because many cannot and of course this depends on what flavor of Christianity they've evolved in and what type of Christian influences they've had. Some Christians tend to reject even those they love if they don't believe the same way as they themselves do.

If someone converts, they basically start believing in what another human being has faith in. The conversion is not necessarily a conversion at all, it's a surrender to a doctrine delivered by humankind and a faith that what those people say is actually truth. Leave the beer behind and be who you are and it's OK. I, WE, They cannot and should not try to convert anyone. That's not what it's about. We can plant seeds is all and if the seed is planted in fertile ground it will grow.

Best of luck you regardless. Be honest with yourself and honest with them hopefully they will accept you for you, and not for who they expect you to be or become. Your journey is no longer clouded and this is a good thing because there are so many people out there who simply follow that path laid before them by those who don't even know where that path leads to or why it's even there.

Peace!

ADDED NOTE: This is the Young Philosophers forum and Henrik is a Teenager as depicted in his title. Please keep this on topic. Any posts that are off topic will be removed without notice.

[Kolbe]

I never really had much of a problem with telling parents and ex-fellow church goers of a loss of faith, but maybe that's because they're a jolly lot and we seem to laugh about it these days. I met my old deputy head-teacher of secondary school recently and he asked why I hadn't gone to church, then when I told him he just joked that I'd better watch out lest I be hit by a bus. No-one desperately seems to want to convert me or anything, and the only family member within the house who goes to church is my mother, yet whenever I talk to her about it the conversation suddenly deviates. Maybe she doesn't have much faith herself, or maybe it's just disappointment, there's something to ask one day. Still I suppose the moral of the story is not to expect a major change in the people around you because of your faith or lack thereof, life goes on.

[Maestro]

Originally Posted by Kolbe

I never really had much of a problem with telling parents and ex-fellow church goers of a loss of faith, but maybe that's because they're a jolly lot and we seem to laugh about it these days. I met my old deputy head-teacher of secondary school recently and he asked why I hadn't gone to church, then when I told him he just joked that I'd better watch out lest I be hit by a bus. No-one desperately seems to want to convert me or anything, and the only family member within the house who goes to church is my mother, yet whenever I talk to her about it the conversation suddenly deviates. Maybe she doesn't have much faith herself, or maybe it's just disappointment, there's something to ask one day. Still I suppose the moral of the story is not to expect a major change in the people around you because of your faith or lack thereof, life goes on.

When I told my parents I was not Christian, all hell broke loose ( pun stuff ). My mom cried a lot, my dad probably cried somewhere hidden, they sent me to church three times a week ( Sunday, Sunday night, Wednesday night ), I had discussions with the preacher, I was given books on Christianity to read, I was scolded, I was permitted from doing certain things, and it goes on. I can't even begin to explain the hellish experience that was. I'm just saying that whether or not you'll experience a major change when telling someone you "lost the faith", depends on who you're telling it to.

[Kolbe]

Originally Posted by Maestro

When I told my parents I was not Christian, all hell broke loose ( pun stuff ). My mom cried a lot, my dad probably cried somewhere hidden, they sent me to church three times a week ( Sunday, Sunday night, Wednesday night ), I had discussions with the preacher, I was given books on Christianity to read, I was scolded, I was permitted from doing certain things, and it goes on. I can't even begin to explain the hellish experience that was. I'm just saying that whether or not you'll experience a major change when telling someone you "lost the faith", depends on who you're telling it to.

Wow, that must have really sucked. What sect of Christianity did you belong to?