[Theaetetus]

I think your mistake is accepting authority. Look for your own voice, but don't alter other voices to find your own. Your philosophy and your theology are inconstant because that is what typically happens. If you want them to be consistent then be willing to accept the "atheist" tag because that is the price to pay to incorporating philosophy with theology. Or just allow for contradiction. You wouldn't be the first. You are still young. Don't pigeonhole you beliefs at such a young age. Let your mind wander and don't be afraid to contradict your former selves. It happens to the best of us.